


The Tumblr Crackficlets 26: The Hedgehog and His Hoglet

by darth_stitch



Series: Sherlock BBC - The Tumblr Crackficlets [39]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Cute, First Words, Humor, John Watson is a Hedgehog, John has a potty mouth, Kid Fic, M/M, Slash, Squee Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-01
Updated: 2012-11-01
Packaged: 2017-11-17 12:37:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/551648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_stitch/pseuds/darth_stitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baby Hamish says his first words.   This may be all his Da's fault, not his genius Papa's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tumblr Crackficlets 26: The Hedgehog and His Hoglet

  
Originally posted on [The Blanket Fort - Darth Stitch on Tumblr](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/34732340166/the-hedgehog-and-his-hoglet-so-i-am-telling)

 

  
[ ](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/image/34732340166)

 

  
**  
**“So I am telling you, Hamish Siegfried Watson-Holmes, that if you really, really want to keep marital harmony between you and your future spouse, please, for the love of all that’s good and holy, remember to buy more milk if you end up using it all for a bloody experiment.”

The baby stared up at his father with enraptured blue eyes. 

“Oh bugger.  You didn’t hear me say that.  Da says very bad words sometimes, you shouldn’t say them back - Da is very, very naughty sometimes…”

The baby smiled. 

“Oh don’t do that - that’s not fair.  I see what you’re doing there, my lad, trying to get me to forgive your idiot genius of a Papa by smiling just like him and I’m just going to end up going home and snogging the life out of the miserable bloody insufferable git, aren’t I?”   

This time, the baby giggled. 

“There we go, I’m doomed, that’s what I am.  Death via Baby Giggles…. what a way to go, eh?”

That ended up producing more baby laughter.  But every word John was saying was true and his earlier annoyance and pique with his husband was fading with every chortle from Hamish.  He sighed and cuddled his boy close as they wandered around Tesco’s, John pushing the shopping cart with his free hand.  He wasn’t actually planning to buy more than milk, honey and a few more things that could easily fit into a single shopping bag, since he did have the baby with him.  But walking aimlessly around the supermarket with Hamish helped clear his head a bit and Hamish proved to be a surprisingly receptive audience to John’s own ramblings. 

Though with his luck, Hamish’s first words would be a swearword, the way John carried on.  With all the talking from both John and Sherlock, Hamish was happily beginning to try and imitate his fathers with the beginnings of baby babble.  John already had a steady growing collection of videos on his mobile showing Sherlock trying to teach their little one how to talk. 

John refuses to be responsible for the massive destruction of Met-owned computer keyboards by snorted-out tea when John posted some of these videos on his blog.  Sherlock commenting on the sorry state of supposedly suitable children’s books and making up his own stories to go along with the pretty pictures instead, based on what he deduced from them, was….interesting, to say the least. 

(All right, balls-out funny - John was hard put to keep his hands steady while taking those videos….)

“John.” 

_“Buggering hell!”_

Hamish let out a delighted squeal. 

John prided himself on being aware of his surroundings at all times, a leftover habit from his soldiering days that he never really got rid of, being as there was still plenty of action (read: _trouble_ ) to get into as the partner and blogger of Certain Consulting Detectives.  Still, he could hardly be blamed for being startled out of his wits if said Consulting Detectives suddenly appear out of nowhere, looking suitably contrite and holding on to a gallon of fresh milk. 

“I was all set to do a fairly artistic rendition of groveling for forgiveness,” Sherlock said wryly.  “But I suppose this is a bit not good?”

John managed to recover.  “Scaring a good five years off my life - a bit not good.  Getting the milk?”  And at that point, he smiled and reached out for his husband’s scarf so he could tug his mad, incorrigible genius down for a kiss.  “That’s very good _\- ”_ Another kiss, because in all their years together, both of them could _never_ just stop at one.  “Very good indeed.”  

“Pa. Bi’ nowt goo.” 

The two men abruptly stopped kissing to look with dawning wonder and delight at their son.

“Did he just say ‘Pa’ and ‘a bit not good?’ “

“That was a sentence, John.  His first words and _a complete sentence! At eight months!_ Oh, John, it’s like Christmas come early!”

The Boys of Baker Street _did_ end up getting the milk and a few of their groceries eventually.  As for the Littlest Boy of Baker Street, he obligingly repeated his First Sentence in front of the camera, with an additional “Dada!” for good measure. This sent said Dada taking the video into happy raptures and caused the mobile’s camera to go over a bit wobbly for a few minutes. 

Thus, there was much cause for celebration over at 221B Baker Street.  At least until Hamish quite clearly called his Godfather Greg  a “sodding wanka” quite lovingly. 

Sherlock refused to take the blame for that this time around.  After all, it was Hamish’s Da, not his Papa, who said Very Bad Words lots of times. 

***

**Author's Note:**

>  **Note:**   I meant to look for a decent picture of Martin Freeman with a baby.  (No, not his own baby, since we all know _that_ is more than just A Bit Not Good - A Bit Fucking Stupid and Disrespectful would be more like it but I digress…)  I spent a while looking for the source of that picture of young Martin with an infant - I think it was a commercial or something like that. 
> 
> Then I spotted the above picture.  Awww….. ~~Hedgehog With Hoglet~~ Martin with Baby Not His Own are always adorable, aren’t they?
> 
> *giggling*
> 
> **PICTURE SOURCE:** [GolfCharliePapa Blog](http://golfcharliepapa.blogspot.com/2012/10/cute-hedgehogs.html)


End file.
